Traditions
by Bev
Paulson (Lolo, MT)
We moved around a lot when I was a kid so the constant
was my Grandmother’s house and my Aunt’s home --any time of the
year we could get there. When I married, we continued to move
around and the constant became my parents’ home, wherever it
was. My Mom once worried that I’d not have a “family home” to
come back to. My response? “Home is where you are!” All
that moving around helped me recognize all the other “gypsies”
around us. Not having blood family nearby enabled us to reach
out and gather in others like us. That has continued as I moved
to Montana and began a new life here. And the “gathering in” is
the strongest tradition we have too.
One thing I try to do for holiday gathering-ins is to ask the
individual or couple to bring a dish that has special meaning in
their past celebrations. During the invitation I try to
find out some of the other dishes to include that are special to
them. Taste and smell sparks memories and comforts--and some
special stories shared around the table. And the bit of extra
effort in meeting other new people helps, a tiny bit, get us all
over the pang of loss.
An outside observation? It looks like most Montanans are
related, have big families, and all have some place to go for
the holidays. While it is a joy to see such a wonderful sense of
family, it also accentuates the feeling of isolation for the
people without it. Thus, the spontaneous, “Hey, come home with
us for lunch,” after a normal Sunday service is especially
welcome. These opportunities, as well as the planned activities
with newcomers, strangers, or loners, builds a bridge. A bridge
to what? Oh, the bridge to help the lone ones cross into warmth
and inclusion at holiday times. An announcement from the
pulpit, “If you don’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, come
on over,” doesn’t glean many results. But it does
aggravate the feeling of isolation and worthlessness. People are
sensitive at holiday times. Emotions are raw. Walking into a
store playing “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” can break the spirit
when there is no home or family to go to.
Traditions? It’s overhearing a friend say confidently,
“Thanksgiving? Oh, we
always go to ____’s house! I bring my special pie….” Our
tradition is building a new family--and I must report, we have a
most interesting family!
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Grandmother’s Cran-Orange Relish Salad
Bev’s must-have traditional dish
1 small box Lemon Jell-O. Mix it a bit shy on the water
side, let set to semi-gelled.
3 Cups crushed cranberries. Mix in 2 Cups sugar or
Splenda. Add 2
apples, 2 oranges chopped (I love the zip of the peels). 1 Cup
pecans, 1 Cup chopped celery.
Add Jell-O when it’s ready and serve.
P.S. This is
even better the next day so make it ahead and ease your holiday
prep. Bev
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